It started off as a normal day today. I woke up to find that I had missed the alarm by miles, it was horribly late and I rushed to make breakfast for my older son and husband. Breakfast done, I moved on to sipping my coffee, my energy beverage for the day. It's true caffeine is addictive but I thrive on this addiction to get through my chores. The next few minutes were spent sorting the lunch menu and the dinner menu.

In between, the laptop opened to display a plethora of unanswered work mails. Oh God! How did I miss those sent by the Dean? I was in such a chaotic mess. Well, the kitchen has been a witness to my work and home hustle always. Today was no different.

"Sorry Sir, won't happen again," I sounded flustered. Maybe I was. I had reached the end of my tether.  After answering to those emails I turned back to see the sink ever smiling at me, laden with utensils. The glory of not having maids. I just didn't want the risk. So here goes my valiant nature as I grumpily washed them to put them rightly where they belonged, in their respective places. I must admit though, my rage made them noisier than usual. I wanted the rest of my household to bear my utensil cleaning trauma too.

Lunchtime over, you would think I am free. Well you couldn't be more wrong. Online classes start at 4pm. Where are my notes? My lectures had to be structured, these twenty something students kept me always on my toes, where was my diary? Why couldn't I be more organised?

Mess, messy, messier. That's me.

In between, I heard my children fight and scream. Parenthood trains you to be adept at being a referee, especially if you have two boys at home. So, I went with all guns blazing attempting to establish a ceasefire.

"Amma, you are so rude with us, you don't spend time with us, I don't want a working mother," screamed my younger one.

"Amma, you love him more," quipped my older one.

Oh, the chaos that ensued in my mind at that moment.

3.45pm, fifteen minutes to get it all together and tend to my class. I let them badger each other and went to login. The next two hours went by answering questions, fending off doubts, thwarting some unnecessary flirting ( oh yes, some students do indulge in that ) and looking after their project submissions.

Phew, mister was busy in calls when I finally emerged for a cuppa filter coffee. Poor thing, let me make one for him, I thought. We finally sat down to have the hot beverage.

6.30pm, time for cycling. There are fresh Covid cases in my society and so I accompany my children as they go down to play in the Park. The cold war is still on between my children and me. We don't talk. I am not a good mother, they surmise. We finish playing and come back home all the while maintaining a stoic silence.

I quickly rush to make hot rasam, our staple for the night to be relished along with morning leftovers. I realise that I have to grind batter after dinner too as I had soaked rice for making idlis.

A round of utensil cleaning and mopping later, I flop on the swing in my balcony, my happy place. Was it happy today? Far cry from it, in fact. I am exhausted. I feel I am failing everywhere. I am failing at my work and failing at parenting

Was I really rude to my children today?

Why am I not able to balance things?

Who says a woman can it all, I seem to be drowning as I have surely bitten more than I can chew.

Writing for this prompt has lightened my mood up a little. Today I have vent my feelings out, can you resonate readers? Why do I feel so low? Have you felt like this?

Hmmm, I think I need to do some soul searching and patching up with my kids, maybe have a heart to heart talk, hugs, kisses, well anything to end this silly war. Mister can do a better job at getting us all together so I need to patch him in as an ally too.

Then, I will probably go and listen to some songs, maybe those soul stirring ones, those which will bring back sunshine. I want the monotonous Today to get over. I want to welcome tomorrow with a smile. Wish me luck readers!


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