Free yourself from the weight of judgment! #blogprompt

Free yourself from the weight of judgment! #blogprompt

"Thinking is difficult, that's why most people judge." - Carl.C.Jung


"Can you tell me why you use your maiden name?" At a recent family gathering, a question came up. Well, I was surprised since the lady who had questioned me knew very little about me. She had come across my name, Saumya Nair Goyal, on social media. She was perplexed as to why I had not changed my name to Saumya Goyal after my marriage. "These new generation girls nowadays desire to rebel against society," she concluded.

It was my own choice, and who was she to judge me on it, I pondered. I didn't want to start an argument with her because of my picture of a sanskari bahu. So, I just smiled at her and excused myself on the pretext of feeding my baby.


"Hey, you still breastfeed your son?" someone asked me a few years ago when my son was three years old. "That's why he doesn't eat anything from the outside." "He's so skinny." "He won't get enough nutrients," some ladies predicted.


Who are you to tell me when it's time to stop nursing my child? Allow me to mother my child as I see fit. It's my personal preference, and it's how I bond with my son. If God has provided me with the opportunity to feed my child, who is this society to judge? I thought, but I didn't respond to any of these ladies and instead smiled at them.


"Hey, why are you living with your parents for such a long time? Is there anything going on with you and your husband?" One of our neighbors inquired. I had met this person once or twice since they had moved to our society after my marriage.


Do you work as a divorce attorney or a marriage counsellor? What basis do you have to pronounce judgement on my marriage to my husband? Isn't it possible for a daughter to come and reside with her parents? These questions sprang into my head. I wanted to scream, but being nice is something we learn from the beginning. So, as is customary, I smiled at her and excused myself.


"Is there some good news? If you have a problem, see a doctor as soon as possible. Don't put it off any longer," after only a month of marriage, an acquaintance from my neighborhood questioned me.

I wanted to take the loudspeaker and ask, Do we marry solely to have children?


But was it worth it? To waste my energy and attract negativity. So I escaped from the place as quickly as I could.


"We need to have a big wedding so that I have a good name in society," I hear a lot of people remark.


Can you make your celebrations unforgettable by making society happy? I'm curious. Why are people so anxious about societal judgement? What difference would that make in our lives?

From the moment a kid is born, society begins to pass judgement. Initially, society is concerned with whether or not the child is walking, talking, and eating properly. They are anxious about the child's academic performance once he or she begins attending school. The youngster is then compared to every other individual on the planet. Later, society is concerned about the child's career once he has completed his schooling. "Is he working and making a good living?" When he/she has a job, society begins to inquire about their marriage. "Are you planning to marry or not?" "Is there something wrong with you?"


When a person marries, the following round of questions come up. "When are you going to give us the good news?" "Why don't you start a family?"


And if the first kid is a girl, the most often asked question is, "When are you planning on having a second child?" A son is essential for carrying on the family name.


So, despite all of the societal judgments, a person settles down with his family and is satisfied. But the verdicts don't end there. The next level of questions begin. "When is your son/daughter's wedding?" "Why isn't your son living with you?" "Why is your daughter-in-law employed?" "Why don't you ask your son to start a family as soon as possible?" It continues on and on.


It is a cycle that begins with a person's birth and continues through generations.

Here's my question, which I've been pondering my entire life. What is the nature of this society? Are they the ones who gave birth to me? Is their approval going to make me happy? Does their opinion even matter to me?


My life is exclusively mine. Why should I get judged by another person? We should, in my opinion, just let such judgments go. Never allow them to enter your mind. We cannot change anyone's beliefs or attitudes, but we may choose to be unconcerned with them.


Remember, when you point a finger at someone, your remaining four fingers are pointing back at you. So you don't judge anyone, let go of society, and you live for your happiness.

Society will constantly pass judgement. But to live a happy and fulfilled life, we must stay calm and silent. Your life will not alter as a result of what society thinks of you, but you will lose self-esteem if you listen to such opinions. Do what makes you happy.


Don't allow the weight of judgement to drag you down into the abyss and make you forget who you are.


Dear Readers,

This is my humble attempt at this week's blog prompt, The weight of judgement. I hope you like it. Haven't we all faced different kinds of judgements? Do share your experiences. 


Thank much in advance.


Stay safe!


Love,

Saumya

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