Let's not impose any barriers in relationships
"Please, Aman let me go, your mom is awake, she has to leave by 8, let me make breakfast for her." Riya fondling in her bed told her husband Aman.
Riya got married just a week before, with all the hustle and bustle of the marriage and the guest who swarmed in the house, was over, she was now ready to take over the kitchen like a dutiful daughter in law.
Her Mom in law Sudha, worked as a teacher in a government school, after a week's break because of her son's marriage, she was ready to join on her formal duties.
Riya in all hush and rush reached to the kitchen, settling her dupatta, hearing the whistle of the cooker, she asked her mother in law plausibly, "Mummy, please let me know what should I make, you must be getting late." Sudha got petrified by her looks and dress. Riya was all scared and puzzled, that why her mother in law is staring at her like this.
She immediately checked herself, but to her qualms, she was all okay, she cautiously asked her mother in law again, "Mummy, do you need any help, please tell me, is there something that I did wrong or you are tired, please let me know." Sudha looked at her again and in a firm voice, told her that she has already made the breakfast.
Riya was a little bit unhappy, she knew something has gone wrong somewhere, which is irritating her mother in law.
She went upstairs, Aman was getting ready for his office, she inquisitively inquired, "Is Mummy okay! I just asked her what should I make for the breakfast, she gave a startling look at me". Aman suggested Riya to not to overburden her mind by these things, his mother is fine and she must be getting late that's why she behaved in such a manner.
Next morning, Riya woke up early and to make her mother in law happy, she started making the breakfast, her mother in law entered the kitchen and in a vociferous voice, asked her to leave everything and vacate the kitchen.
Riya was all under the shock, harsh words of her mother in law led her to sob. Her mother in law clenched her hand and took her to the drawing-room. She told Riya to stay calm and listen to her carefully, "Riya, I want you to come and help me in the kitchen, I have no problem with you in helping me or sharing my workload, but you need to bath first and then enter the kitchen, it is a holy place for me, I don't want that you should enter like this, please, bahu nahakar hi rasoi banana".
Sudha was happy that at least her mother in law shared, what was bothering her. She said sorry to her mother in law and went to take a bath, but somewhere, she was still not okay with the condition, which her mother in law asked her to do so.
She thought of seeking her mom's help, but she flinched herself, she did not want to create such a big issue out of this. All of a sudden a momentous thought etched her mind, she noticed that her mother in law, so many times entering the kitchen and preparing breakfast without taking a bath, then why she was forcing and teaching her to do a thing, which she is not preaching herself.
It was not like that, Riya doesn't like taking a bath in the morning, it is a good habit although, but she was a girl who always wanted and demanded an answer for every vague belief, that disturbed her. She wanted an open conversation with her mother in law to make the relationship healthier. She was not hesitant to ask the reason behind her taking a bath before entering the kitchen.
It was Sunday, her mother in law woke up a little late than usual timings, as her first ritual in the morning she went to the kitchen to make some tea for herself, she noticed Riya in her nightdress, before Sudha could ask or say anything, Riya turned and said, "Good morning, Mummy", Sudha, at once in a meagre voice replied, "Good morning beta, you want something from the kitchen, tell me I will make it for you, first you go and take a bath".
Riya stood her behind and said, "Mummy, today is Sunday, it is a rest day, so let us give some rest to this bath for some time, but why haven't you still taken a bath?" Sudha understood what Riya meant to say, she perturbed and left the kitchen.
Riya followed her and raised a question, "Mummy can I ask you a question, please give an honest answer to it". Sudha turned, folding her hands, in an apprehensive look, "What do you want to know?"
Riya got startled by her anxious look and without wasting any further time, she threw her question on Sudha, "Why don't you take a bath, before entering the kitchen?" Sudha was already prepared with her answer, she saw Riya's eyes, Sudha could smell some mutiny in her nature and eyes, settling down on the sofa, she knew this question will spark as this new generation wants an answer for small things too.
But intelligently, handling the situation, she said, "Riya, I thought, what my mother in law preached, I will teach you, though these beliefs are not tough to follow but are baseless, I always wanted to ask my mother in law but I was weak not physically but mentally, as abiding by their rules, customs and rituals were my foremost duty as a dutiful daughter in law and an obedient daughter of my parents, I am glad, you raised this question, it is good to see how women of today can voice their opinions, you are free to do anything and everything in this house, as this is your house too, I regret on what I said to you".
Riya was all numbed, tears rolled down from her eyes, she said sorry to her mother in law as she hurt her sentiments. Her rebellious attitude was still alive, she, wiping her tears and in a cheerful mood asked again, "Mummy I still want to know, why is it necessary to enter the kitchen after taking a bath?", her mother in law giggled and said, "Even I don't know but once my mother in law came to my room, the door was not properly latched up, she saw us making love, so she purposely asked me to purify my body first before stepping inside the kitchen". They both laughed and shared a few more interesting stories like this. Their bond grew stronger by the love, care, and most importantly the communication, which not only broke the barrier of unsaid, puny beliefs but blossomed their relationship too.
An open discussion or communication has the power to break barriers and build relations which we can cherish in future. There are very few people like Riya and Sudha who could make their bond beautiful, I hope this article will help you in opening up the conversations with your loved ones and removing the barriers.