Motherhood Is A Choice
As much as I feel great about being a mom,
As much as I write about my experiences as a mother….,
I think ‘motherhood’ is a woman’s personal choice and we have no right to question or judge her opinions.
Yes, I agree that it is a couple's choice who has to make a decision together. As a family, as a society each one of us must either support or just stay silent. We do not have a right to question or judge.
If possible, kindly be there for her.
Let us leave it to her choice to plan according to her life.
Let us not pressurise her by saying relatives and friends are asking about 'the good news'.
Let us not stress her by questioning if she is using any tablets to avoid pregnancy.
Let us not unnecessarily advise her to consult a doctor. If she really needs to go see a doctor, then help her find one. Till then give her a choice.
Let us not link her work/career to her plan for a child.
Let us not tell her to have a child to solve her marital issues. A child must be born out of love, not to solve the problems.
Let us not compare her situation with someone we know. No two situations are similar. Lend your shoulder if she wants to share something. Otherwise it is her choice.
Let us give her own time to plan a child. If she is not planning for years, she may not be ready yet.
Let us not comment that she is having some issue with her body that is making her pregnancy delayed. We are definitely not her doctor to diagnose that.
Let us not ask her about planning a second baby when she is not ready yet. Let her take time with the first one and leave to her choice to plan when she is comfortable.
Let us not pass statements like, "Women are meant to bear a child. Adoption does not make you a real mother." Let us be mature enough to appreciate such noble thoughts.
Let us understand her greatness in humanity when she sees a child in her pet.
Let us not question her decision when she decides to go child free. Motherhood is her choice.
Let us not judge her situation if she gets pregnant before getting married.
Let us try to understand the reason and the pain behind that reason if she is choosing for abortion or giving up for adoption.
Let the couple have their choice on planning and deciding when to have a child. Let us not interrupt their plans.
Let us not intrude in her decisions. If possible, let us support, help and be there for her.
At the end of the day, it is her choice.
Motherhood is a choice.