REARING HELPFUL CHILDREN- Blog post by Dipanweeta
Children of a very young age, even less than two years old, show helpful, generous, and kind behaviour especially towards mum, but towards others as well. It is also true that some children show more kindness and altruism than others. Most of us would like our children to behave in this helpful way so here are a few tips as to how you can create a family environment that seems to foster this kind of child.
Parents who believe in loving, nurturing, and supporting their children have children who are more helpful, more empathetic and more thoughtful towards others. This probably reflects the secure attachment of the child to the parent and the effect of our good moods. Undoubtedly it also reflects the fact that the child models her behavior on our behavior. Our child is much more likely to help someone if she is in a good mood so it is worth trying to keep her that way.
One of the reasons why a completely undisciplined upbringing is bad for children is that they thrive better and develop better with a slightly authoritative parental style. By and large, children like to have clear guidelines about rules and standards. It is a pattern that fosters high self-esteem and popularity.
Letting children do really helpful things around the house or in school such as cooking, taking care of pets, making toys to give to unfortunate children, or teaching younger brothers and sisters how to play games, fosters helpfulness in most children. Of course, not all children do such things spontaneously and have to be asked, encouraged, and sometimes even coerced, though coercion must be gentle otherwise it has the opposite effect.
The most significant way to rear helpful children is to demonstrate to our children the generous, thoughtful and helpful behavior we would like them to show. When there is a conflict between what we say and what we do, children will imitate what we do, so it is simply not good enough to state the rules or guidelines clearly if your behavior does not echo what you say.