Symbolic accessories for married woman. Is it necessary?
"Are you married? "He asked.
"Yes," I answered.
"Are you married? You should tell me now if you're not." He asked again with a stern look.
"Yes, we are," I answered feeling little offensive.
He noticed the expression on my face.
"Oh, just out of curiosity you see."
Why in the world a visa officer should ask me the same question thrice when it is clearly mentioned in the application? Especially when I'm attending the interview along with my husband.
Out of curiosity, really?
I felt like killing him with my deadly stare, but I needed the visa so I smiled instead.
Maybe my short hight and petite personality
made him curious I thought.
He further added that he felt I'm not married because I didn't have the red dot on my forehead.
And I was not in traditional Indian attire, 'The 6-yard saree.'
What had hit me hard was, that he didn't ask this question to my husband. Not once.
Why is it necessary for a woman to display the proof of being married?
There is no doubt that a woman looks beautiful when she decks up in bridal finery with the tikka, sindoor, mangalsutra, bicchiya (toe-rings), bangles, nose-pin and anklets. But once the wedding rituals are over, it’s the choice of the woman whether she wants to wear all of these regularly.
Also, these days women have high flying careers, attending boardroom meetings and are bosses.
In such a scenario does she really have space for all these symbolism, where her marital status does not come into play.
Even if she is a homemaker it’s her choice really whether she wants to wear one sign or none at all.
Women these days prefer western outfits that are convenient and these signs may look out of place or unnecessary.
But my main concern is, when the men don’t have to, why women are asked to?
What changes when a woman gets married?
Well, everything I guess.
Marriage is a relationship which involves a man and a woman.
They both start their new life journey together but have different beginnings.
The man starts his journey along with his family, friends and his wife. He gets all the needed support from them.
Whereas a woman starts her journey of married life all alone.
Leaving her parents she has to adjust in the new family where a long protocol list of how she has to behave after marriage, waits for her.
In a day she changes from didi to bhabhi or aunty.
Miss become Mrs. but Mr. remains Mr.
From the first day as married women, she is expected to take all the responsibilities of her new family and to fulfil it with proficiency.
No one tries to understand that being married doesn't mean to change character, behavioural patterns, the experience of life and way of living over a night period.
As flowers take time to grow and bloom, so does a girl. A girl takes time to grow in the new relationship and to bloom as a married woman.
Women are told that they are the custodian of our culture and the family traditions and these symbols are parts of it.
Married women are told if they don’t wear them then harm will befall on their husbands. Because in our society widows are not allowed to wear any of these symbols, so lack of them on a woman means the husband is not in the picture.
Come on now.
A married woman is a PERSON.
A human being. A living creature.
She is like salt in the dish. As salt dissolved in a dish to makes it tasty, a woman when gets married fits in perfectly to her new family and make it strong and beautiful.
A married woman is a cocktail of strength, care, beauty and love.
Not a display unit of her marital status.
Symbolism doesn't make her a married woman, an emotional relationship does.