The pre requisites of being a Married Woman
The married woman in a stereotypical Indian Society is considered to be the idol of “Stoicism’ who should wordlessly adjust to everything and display every proof of her being married to every person (read stranger) in her vicinity.
As a married woman, you’re not supposed to voice your opinions, or express your dissatisfaction about anything. If you tend to refute any opinion which you might not like, you shall be regarded as the rambunctious girl who has not been raised at par with the virtues (or vices, that’s a relative concept though) of Indian society, hence you are totally uncultured and rebellious. In some cases, your parents might also have to bear the brunt of instilling the right values in you.
As a married woman, you shall always be at the mercy of others, irrespective of your educational qualification and/or your career. Your career shall always be subject to scrutiny of others, and if you’re lucky enough you might even be granted permission to work post marriage provided you succumb to some pre conditions. And mind you some people have never heard of the term “Gender Equality” so if you think of schooling others for their regressive thinking, then you shall be labeled as headstrong, obstinate and most importantly you are over ambitious who knows it all.
As a married woman, you can never afford to return home late, even if your work demands. You are answerable to all and sundry because you are a married woman who has been lucky (or unlucky) enough to be granted the permission to pursue her dreams.
As a married woman, if you resume work post motherhood, you are most likely to be called a “heartless mother”.
As a married woman, you are ‘never’ supposed to have “me time”. The day you get married, it’s no brainer that you in all your senses silently shall be dedicating your entire life for others and only others. Your desires, your dreams stand null and void in the wake of the transformation from Ms to Mrs. Only then shall you be placed on the pedestal and shall be the proud owner of badges like “Adarsh Bahu” (Ideal Daughter-in-law) and/or “Pativrata Nari” (a virtuous and loyal wife).
We’ve been conditioned to try and adjust. How much shall we adjust? On it hovers a humongous question mark. Society puts the pressure on women to live up to the expectations as the perfect wife or a perfect Daughter-in-law or even a perfect mother.
The concept of “perfect” is non-existent. It’s easy to judge but difficult to understand, as understanding needs patience and willingness to create a notion of something new! ‘THROUGH JUDGING WE SEPARATE, THROUGH UNDERSTANDING WE GROW.
Married women are denied resting intervals under various circumstances and they are expected to work round the clock without complaining. Various chores done by women are often unnoticed, unpaid and unaccounted. Gender-based roles are changing largely but women are still expected to do ‘extra work’ and do it all and fulfil the unending family needs.
We may still have to tread a long path to be able to see the visible change in the patriarchal mindset of people, but we've certainly come pretty far from where we once were and that calls for celebration.